On weekends, my parents give me a bone to gnaw on. This is my favourite food in the world (apart from yoghurt, tuna, ham fat… so many nice things to eat).

I like bones because they are really tasty, especially the creamy marrow. My parents are happy that I like bones because it keeps my breath sweet. The vet is happy that I like bones too. He says that I have the best teeth he has ever seen.

I try to make my bones last. I like to gnaw on them until they’re in pieces, and then come back to them again the next day, just in case there’s some flavour left. You never know!

Sometimes I get so enthusiastic with old bone bits that I end up digging a hole in search of them – by accident, of course. Other times, I bury them for further feasting a few weeks on. My parents don’t like me doing this. They say old bones give me bad breath. I usually ignore them and do it anyway.

As they say, waste not, want not.